Baggage (Literally)

For my first real post, I figured I would start out very concrete and practical. To wit: bags.

Very shortly into my tenure as a father, I came to revere that old Boy Scout directive. "Be prepared." Child-rearing is a truly epic feat of multi-tasking. Suddenly, activities which seemed so simple, like going to the grocery store, now require careful tactical planning. You have to make intelligent decisions as to how you go, what you will bring, where you will go... it all figures in. And you will need supplies. Dear God, you will need supplies.

I found that my first six months of having a baby consisted of a series of hard object lessons about the important stuff I needed to make sure that I had before I left the house. I would be so frazzled and sleep-deprived that I would run out of the house, not totally unprepared, but inevitably missing that one piece of gear which would have made everything much easier. Examples: (all beginning with the phrase, "Jesus, how the fuck did I forget--") diapers, wipes, bottles, diaper cream, spare clothes for me, spare clothes for him, object of distraction (see future posts)... the list goes on and on.

Enough of these little shenanigans persuaded me that I had a vested interest in a diaper bag, which had previously been the exclusive realm of my wife. Now, back when you were a hip, single guy with no children, you didn't want to carry too much stuff. It cramped your coolness factor. Understand this: those days have well and truly ended. You are now a frazzled, sleep deprived creature who is just trying to survive. You are a new father. You will look like a new father, no matter whether you've got some sort of diaper bag or not.

So man up and carry one.

Now, this is where I encountered some issues. See, most diaper bags that you see seem to encounter look like glorified purses. The larger type of purses that my wife sometimes carry, that I call "The Command Center". If you're lucky, you can get one that even looks like a messenger bag.

But there's problems with these.

First, your carrying capacity is limited. For reasons I am still unclear about, they seem to make most diaper bags big enough to hold some of the stuff you need, but not all of it. It's like they got together with those same bastards who make packages of 10 hot dogs and 8 buns. It is a strange form of torture.

Most importantly, though, these bastards (the bags) will tie up your hands in one way or another. You use the handles, and one of your hands is monopolized. Use the shoulder strap, and you're going to be constantly shifting and adjusting to make it fit right (especially when you're carrying a baby). Inevitably, this will end up tying up that same damn hand you would have used with a handle carry, and screw up your posture to boot.

Solution?

Backpacks. (Or in my case, since my son's name is Jack, the Jackpack.) Most of the same things that make them so invaluable in the woods ring true for child-rearing (the metaphorical "woods", if you will). They utilize the strongest muscles of your body, so you can carry more gear with less fatigue. You can hook things to their outsides. And most importantly, you've got two hands free! (This is somewhat useful with babies, but when your kid begins to toddle and you've got to chase his ass around and keep him from certain death, this becomes a life-saver.)

Oh, and you don't have to pay an extra twenty or thirty bucks for a "specially designed baby bag".

You'll find that your average day-pack will hold just about everything you'd need for being out and about with a small child. (I'm going to put my essentials check list at the end of the post).
If you're really wanting to splurge, you can spend as much money as you want on a day pack, but there are a few essentials I'd make sure you get on there. Make sure to get a model with some form of wrap or bungie on the outside, as well as some d-rings or a daisy chain. These things will give you places to clip stuff to the outside of the bag. Water resistance is a plus, too, for those times God inevitably chooses to smite you with his rainstorm.

Oh, and the most essential thing on the bag? Carabiners. Don't waste money on proper climbing ones, but go to the local sporting goods store and get at least two medium-sized ones, as well as a large one. I put them on the part of the bag where the strap attaches to the bottom. You can stick a ton of plastic grocery bags on the large hook and still have your hands free: critical for those "Holy shit I've got a baby, eight bags of groceries, and the heavens are about to open up" sort of situations.

It's been my experience that keeping my own bag (maintained by me, not the wife - that's important) has made things a lot easier. As I mentioned earlier, those first few months of sleep deprivation are awful on your memory, so make a list and pack to the list. Re-stock the bag every week or so. After a month or so, it will become a routine.

As promised, here's the checklist of essentials that I keep in mine:

- Diapers (duh)
- Wipes (see above)
- Blanket (serves as a changing pad or warmth device, depending on what you need)
- Back-up Clothing for child and me (trust me - the child will pee on everything you wear)
- Books (see above - need 'em for the kid, need 'em for yourself for long naps)
- Doggie Bags (little plastic bag dispenser they sell for dog refuse - works just as well as the ones they sell for babies, but cost half the price. Regardless; same damn product. Go cheap!)
- First Aid Kit (Accept realty: injuries will occur)
- Distracting Object(s) for baby (find one or two things with the "here, this will shut him up" factor)
- Snacks
- Hydration (bottles if still that age, sports bottles on the outside of the pack if toddler or above)
- Multitool (All toys have battery hatches that are screwed shut)
- Light source
- Small camera

As always, good luck. You'll need it.

Introduction

My name is Patrick Songy, and I am uniquely qualified to write this in two ways: I have a beautiful wife and an equally beautiful little boy. My son will turn two in less than two months. His first two years of life, along with his gestation period, have taught me innumerable lessons about life, love, and the way we relate as human beings to each other.

In that some of my problems are unique, and some are quite universal, I made the decision to share some of these lessons here. And if a few people stumble upon this and take some aid and encouragement from my words, then the effort is not wasted.